Why do we do the things we do?
Why do we gorge ourselves on sweets, when we’re trying to lose weight? Why do we have that extra glass of wine, when we know we shouldn’t? Why do we spend so much time glued to that computer, when there is a real world out there?
I used to think that I didn’t need to know why. I used to think that all it took was more muscle. If I could just will myself to give all that up, things would be better for it.
But we need to know why, because all of those things serve a purpose. What if we’re overeating for comfort, because there is something stressful we haven’t wanted to deal with? What if we’re having that extra glass of wine, because we want to forget about something?
Changing our habits, and improving ourselves requires more than just muscle. And that’s why it’s so hard. Making lasting change requires understanding and compassion, and it takes time.
I have realized this, in my efforts to spend less time online. The community we’ve all created here, is safe. For years, I had put up walls. I felt alone and unworthy, and I was constantly running from what I believed to be a shameful past.
Whatever it was, I thought I was the only one.
Through your friendship, you’ve helped me to open up and to let love in. My message now is, that we are not alone. That there is no reason to be ashamed of the lessons we’ve learned, and that not a one of us is the only one.
You’ve created a safe place for me to learn and grow and share my message. And that’s why it sucks me in. That’s why I find it irresistible.
If you met someone on the street, who had been fearful for years, and had finally found somewhere safe, would you force them to never go back? Would you tell them to will their fears away and leave? Certainly not.
Moving forward from here is a process. My journey now is to find the same safety and the same love in the “real” world. Everything I’ve found here has been positive, but it’s time to find that positive outside of that computer screen.
Every single one of us is real. We all live in communities. So I know that love exists out there.
Do you struggle with online time, for the same reason? What habits have you discovered in yourself, that you should view with compassion, in trying to change?
My Advent Calendar is still for sale, and I will continue to give 2 of them away every day this week!