Anaïs Nin: “And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”
Thank you, Caitlin, for that quote. It has really spoken to me through the past 6 months.
My friends, it is time for me to level with you.
It was with reluctance that I embraced the “American Dream.”
It was with reluctance that I put down roots, here in this subdivision.
It was with reluctance that I incurred the debt, through this house, this yard.
We were told that we needed a larger place, to raise a family. We were told that we needed a yard, in a good neighborhood. We were told that our small space wasn’t enough. We were told that we needed my secure job, in order to adequately provide for a child.
We don’t fault the people who told us. But we realize now, that in believing them, we were wrong.
In the summer of 2006 I first danced with the wind. In 2011 I came to know it as my partner, and Moonraker as my soul. In 2012, I knew that we were forever changed, by our experiences.
I told you that we had yet to see how profound this change was. Now I know.
Through our experiences on the water. Through the encouragement of friends, especially one who asked me what was keeping me from reaching my dreams (I answered “security,” and I have since learned that security is fake). Through loving and receiving unconditional love (as all love is unconditional). Through experiencing survival mode and deciding that I Will No Longer. Through all of that, I have reached my decision.
I will no longer.
I will no longer be owned by my possessions. I will give it all up–my house, my mortgage, and all that will not fit into 100 square feet.
I will no longer sell out in order to survive. I will live so that I do not “need” a large paycheck. I will be able to do what is right–and that is to do right things. And that is all.
I will give up my house.
I will give up my job.
I have spent the last month applying for positions in Texas, on the water. After a 12 minute Skype interview, I was offerred a position in a school out of Houston. Last week, I left Michigan for the 11th time, in my life, and flew for my 3rd time. I had already accepted the offer, over the phone, but I saw the city and that made it real.
We will empty our house, and keep what fits into our LeSharo motor home. We will repair Moonraker’s engine and begin our decent down the Mississippi. We probably will not make it this year–one should never hasten the journey. We will pull out where we end up, and take the LeSharo to an RV lot. We will live there, until we can bring Moonraker down to us.
We will not live in a house again. Technically, we will be “homeless.” But in reality, we will be free.
I will work, and we will save up, for our ocean crossing. Now, we are citizens of the world.
Now, minimalism and decluttering have become real. They are no longer games we play, to stay busy in our unhappy lifestyle. They are vehicles that will help us to achieve our dreams.