Arbitrary Rules

I plan to follow my dreams, and make the move away from the script.  But first, there are some things I need to do.

  • I need to pay off my house.
  • I need to wait until my daughter has completed kindergarten, so we can have a program in place for her.
  • I need to pare down my possessions, so that getting rid of them at the last minute isn’t overwhelming.
  • I need to save up some money, so that we have a safety net.
  • I need to pay off my student loans.
  • I need to lose weight and adapt a healthier lifestyle.
  • I need to get our house off the grid, so we can save up more money.
  • I need to reduce the amount of waste we produce, so that I will be ready to live with limited waste facilities.

If you have a dream, I am willing to bet that you’ve got some steps to follow, too.  Steps can be useful.  They give us hope, in our day-to-day lives.  They make us feel like we’re working toward our dream.  They make us feel like we’re moving in a direction.

But you need to realize that they are fake.

Steps slow us down, when we’re not yet ready to make the change.  They keep us focused, but they are a delaying tactic.  That can be a positive thing.  We shouldn’t move forward, until we are ready to do so.  And having something to keep us focused can be helpful.

It’s when we start using the steps to hold us back, that they become a problem.  When we’re adhering to steps out of fear, it’s time to realize that the steps don’t matter.  They are just rules we’ve created in our head. 

When you’re ready to let go and follow your dream, then you need to let go and follow your dream.  There is absolutely nothing that you have to do, before you do that.  Any rules, are rules that you are choosing to have.  You can walk away from anything, when you are ready.

I’m obviously not yet at that stage of the game.  But I’ve been watching, as my rules, my “steps” to follow have gradually been disappearing.  There are some that I’m choosing to keep, at this point in time, at least.  But noticing that keeping them is my choice, and noticing how the other steps were limiting me, has given me more control and freedom.

What arbitrary rules are keeping you from your dreams?

  • Sunset Over The Petra Velikogo Bay Stock Photo

14 thoughts on “Arbitrary Rules

  1. I don’t have steps in my way…yet. What I have in my way is a compulsive need for list making and no list made for what I’d like to do. I feel I can’t start until I’ve created those steps. How’s THAT for limiting? 😀

  2. Enjoyed this post. I think my made up rule was a conglomerate of things. That little voice in my head that told me “your not ready because of x…” I finally had to tone him down and just start!

  3. Hi Bethany – drop by my site on a Tues/Wed (Wed my time, but Tues in the US I think), as I’m trying to get to zero waste (there’s still composting and recycling). Not sure it’ll help with your lack of inertia, but at least it’ll show you some steps I’m taking?

  4. I spent way too much of my life living in the fear of the unknown so I would put obstacles in my way. I wanted to be self employed, but what if I didn’t earn enough to support my family would I find another job to fill in. Today my problem is having too many things to work on at once. I want to do everything I didn’t do sooner.

    • We used to constantly have too many projects going on at once. It’s hard, because I want to experience it all. Now, we’ve got more focus, but it is true to that we have eliminated the possibility of other experiences. But we are enjoying the things we do, much more.

  5. it’s kind of like we step into a process, but I hear what your saying, we can step from that anytime we want really into the next thing. The process can be useful though, as long as we don’t get stuck! X

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