Those Spacey Days

Note: There is still time to enter the Give-Away and donate to Gracyn’s family, to help cover her medical expenses. You can donate a small amount–even a dollar. On the site, you do have the option of keeping the amount you donate private. 400 people visited the post, on the give-away. If each of you donated $1, that would be a significant amount, toward Gracyn’s care! Don’t forget–the little things matter.

There was someone my husband worked with once, whom he referred to as “No Mind,” as an obvious statement about this person’s intelligence. Then, he looked at me, and said, “You! You’re Never Mind! Because your mind is never here!”

And he’s the one with ADD.

I have noticed that there are times when I am more in the here-and-now than others. I’ve said before, I am quite mindful when we’re sailing. When I’m sitting in the cockpit, watching the shoreline go by, there is nowhere else to be but there.

It’s the other days, when my mind is all over the place, that I need to pay attention to. Last year, I was obsessed with the future, so much that all I could think about was the summer, and being on Moonraker. This year, I have been stuck on the past–difficult, upsetting times in the past, actually. I found that, no matter how hard I tried, my mind kept going back there.

So what was going on?

I’ve noticed that I can’t stay in the present, when I am unhappy in the present. I can’t be here-and-now, when I crave nothing but escape from the here-and-now. Last year, the future was something to look forward to. This year, even thinking about the future bothered me.

So, why? And why did I fixate on unhappy, unpleasant times?

Well, the present was unhappy. And the future was scarey and uncertain. I was facing challenges–so my mind kept going back to the past, and the challenges I had overcome. Because I had overcome them all, even if the memories were not pleasant. I went back to times when I had been loved immensely, and to times that made me angry, because I had faced adversity alone. But, everytime, I had come out on top, transcended.

Missing the obvious lesson, the memories of the past only brought me back to the pain I felt at the time, making life much mroe difficult than it needed to be. Only when I tried to leave all that behind, and pay attention to the here-and-now, did I realize that I was hiding from something. I saw what it was, and was able to look it in the eye, and make some changes.

So, pay attention, when your mind starts wandering. You’re running from something. What is it?

sunrise

Dan, at Zen Presence, wrote a similar post, about clarifying your dreams and intentions for your life, and not just living the way you think everyone else wants you to.  Check it out!

10 thoughts on “Those Spacey Days

  1. “So, pay attention, when your mind starts wandering. You’re running from something.”

    Very astute Bethany.
    Thank you so much for sharing the link. I really feel that if the information in my article is used – it will change lives for the better.

    Great article!

    Dan

  2. I love your insight that when we can’t stay in the present it means we’re running from something and we have to look back and figure out what it is. Awesome post!

  3. You said: “I can’t be here-and-now, when I crave nothing but escape from the here-and-now.” Oh how I have struggled with this myself. My husband always knew things were bad in my head when I started talking about wanting to move. When things were bad for me, I wanted to move far away from wherever I was and just start over. Fortunately, I’ve gotten somewhat of a handle on this and deal with those rough times better than I used to. I now know that running away is not going to solve anything.

    • There is something to be said for starting over. However, it really won’t be a fresh start if the problem that we’re trying to escape is not due to the environment where we are, but, instead, is something that we’re carrying with us.

  4. I have found that in the past I was doing exactly what you describe, and that only after I started taking control of my life, questioning everything and doing it my way, taking back control, did I start living in the present. You have just made me realise that this is simply because I am happy’.

    Thank you

    p.s. I have ADD too.

  5. I have felt the energy of past lessons around me this week. And a fair amount of avoidance is going on in my life, trying to fill up the moment with other things, whether it be food or even de-cluttering! I can feel the present moment calling but am finding it hard to go there.

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