Note: There is still time to enter the Give-Away and donate to Gracyn’s family, to help cover her medical expenses. You can donate a small amount–even a dollar. On the site, you do have the option of keeping the amount you donate private. 400 people visited the post, on the give-away. If each of you donated $1, that would be a significant amount, toward Gracyn’s care! Don’t forget–the little things matter.
There was someone my husband worked with once, whom he referred to as “No Mind,” as an obvious statement about this person’s intelligence. Then, he looked at me, and said, “You! You’re Never Mind! Because your mind is never here!”
And he’s the one with ADD.
I have noticed that there are times when I am more in the here-and-now than others. I’ve said before, I am quite mindful when we’re sailing. When I’m sitting in the cockpit, watching the shoreline go by, there is nowhere else to be but there.
It’s the other days, when my mind is all over the place, that I need to pay attention to. Last year, I was obsessed with the future, so much that all I could think about was the summer, and being on Moonraker. This year, I have been stuck on the past–difficult, upsetting times in the past, actually. I found that, no matter how hard I tried, my mind kept going back there.
So what was going on?
I’ve noticed that I can’t stay in the present, when I am unhappy in the present. I can’t be here-and-now, when I crave nothing but escape from the here-and-now. Last year, the future was something to look forward to. This year, even thinking about the future bothered me.
So, why? And why did I fixate on unhappy, unpleasant times?
Well, the present was unhappy. And the future was scarey and uncertain. I was facing challenges–so my mind kept going back to the past, and the challenges I had overcome. Because I had overcome them all, even if the memories were not pleasant. I went back to times when I had been loved immensely, and to times that made me angry, because I had faced adversity alone. But, everytime, I had come out on top, transcended.
Missing the obvious lesson, the memories of the past only brought me back to the pain I felt at the time, making life much mroe difficult than it needed to be. Only when I tried to leave all that behind, and pay attention to the here-and-now, did I realize that I was hiding from something. I saw what it was, and was able to look it in the eye, and make some changes.
So, pay attention, when your mind starts wandering. You’re running from something. What is it?
Dan, at Zen Presence, wrote a similar post, about clarifying your dreams and intentions for your life, and not just living the way you think everyone else wants you to. Check it out!