I’ve been away from this blog for nearly two weeks. For me, that is the equivalent of an extended sabbatical.
Why did I take the break? Because, with my family, I am sitting on the edge of making some major changes in our lives. We’re planning on taking some risks, and creating a new life for ourselves, that has the potential to be more amazing than anything out of our wildest dreams.
However, something was getting in the way, of this dream. And that something was me. As much as I enjoyed talking about our plans, with others, I had made no move toward making them a reality. During a season of action, I was stuck in the planning stages. I was uncomfortable with the dream becoming more than just a dream.
Once again, it seemed that fear was controlling my actions.
In order to achieve my dreams–or even to start moving toward achieving them–I needed to conquer this fear. I needed to look life in the eye once again–to confront whatever beliefs were keeping me in fear, keeping me from moving forward. I needed to take a break from writing, from all of the distractions, and focus on the next steps.
It wasn’t always pretty, looking deep into my soul, and confronting all of the faulty assumptions I held, about myself, about my worthiness. But, with the support of some very dear friends, I was able to do it. I was able to understand that I face a world of possibility, and that life can be what I make of it, even if I’ve made mistakes in the past. Even if I’m still not perfect, and never will be.
I learned many lessons, and I will eventually share all of them with you.
But, there is one lesson–the most important one–that I will share with you today.
I thought that I had told you my story. I thought that Kendra was my story. I thought that overcoming that, settling down, raising a family in the suburbs, and living an otherwise “normal” life was good and inspiring, and enough.
But now I know it is not.
Kendra is not my story. It’s not even the most important part of my story. The most important part of my story–the part that will inspire, that people will want to hear over and over–has yet to be written.
My lesson for you, is not to let your past be your story. Make your life amazing now, and don’t let the negativity and hurt from the past dictate where you go in the future. We are all so much more, than where we’ve been.