Television, that is.
My friend, Dan, wrote about trying to watch the Super Bowl, after being TV-free for a year. It absolutely is a shock, being exposed to the main portal to mainstream culture, after being away from it for so long.
To be honest, I can’t remember when we last had a television. I knew it was before Beanie was born. A conversation with Rob revealed that we moved our television to make room for the tree, the Christmas of 2004. And we never put it back. That’s right–we have not had a television for 8 years!
At first, we enjoyed catching up on shows, when we were at hotels or visiting relatives. But, folks, it’s gone downhill. Now we really look forward to watching TV, so that we can see what new, dumb shows are out there!
Here are some of my favorites:
Great Lakes Warriors
All right, we thought this one would be interesting. I mean, we live on the Lakes for a good-sized chunk of time. But this was so over-dramatized that it was hilarious. Every little, routine task, could make boat sink. They had a tug rescuing a freighter, in a harbor, and did a computer-generated demonstration of how this could sink the ship. Makes me think that they should do a reality show about us, on Moonraker. They could do overblown worst-case scenarios, and I’ll give them some over-dramatic sound bites…
A long time ago, in a parking lot far, far, away…Seriously, guys? Storage. Wars. I don’t care, storage isn’t that exciting.
So is everything a war? I saw this show. It really just is a documentary of traffic cops putting parking tickets on cars. Wow.
We saw an overblown towing reality show, where all of these towing escapades could potentially kill everyone involved. It turns out that there is no show called “Extreme Towing.” And it turns out that there are lots of towing reality shows. Never a dull moment, I guess…
When Vacations Attack
Watch out. Your vacation might attack you!
Another show inspiring people to get-rich-quick. I guarantee you that pawn shops aren’t really that exciting.
The Dog Whisperer
People crying because their dog is no longer running their lives? Oi vey.
So, folks, put the box away. There are much better things to do with your time!