We used to get together with two other couples once a week, and hang out late into the night, playing video games, grocery shopping, watching “Junkyard Wars,” cooking, and just talking. Rob used to race model cars every week, in a large studio apartment, with a group of friends. We used to have a playdate with another couple every week, taking turns hosting and cooking dinner. Now, we’ll be happy if we see everyone before Christmas.
What happened? We got busy.
“Busy” happens to everyone. The truth is, we only have 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, and 52 weeks in a year. Time is limited for all of us. And we still have to earn enough money to pay the bills, fulfill our obligations, raise our children, and clean the house. We all are busy. But we were always as busy as we are now. We always had the same amount of time that we have now. The difference is in how we spend it.
I once read–I don’t remember where–that everyone minimizes something. We’re all “minimalists,” but some people give up time in order to earn more money, or have more possessions. Our family has given up money and material possessions in order to have time with each other, and time to pursue our dream.
Still, we are choosing something over time with friends.
So what are we choosing? By and large, we’re choosing housework. Our house is never good enough to have anyone over. Fly Lady addresses this, calling it CHAOS” (can’t have anyone over syndrome). Except that we’re minimalists. Our house shouldn’t be so messy.
And yet it fills up, and things get strewn about. And we become perfectionists, and don’t want people to see the house the way it looks. And sometimes, we’re just plain lazy. We choose time online over time with friends too.
We want to be a part of a community, and we value relationships over possessions. I think, perhaps, I need to make a New Year’s resolution to get together with our friends at least once a month…