Why the Mommy Wars are Stupid

We mothers are a divided group. There are the stay-at-homes vs. the 9-to-5’s. The co-sleepers vs. the sleep trainers. The time-outers vs. the spankers. The breast-feeders vs. the formula-feeders. The mommies-of-5 vs. the mommies-of-onlies. And all each group has to say is how wrong the other group is.

This is really, really stupid.

First of all, who are we to assume that our way is the ONLY way that will work for anyone? What if we were like this in every other aspect of our lives? We don’t decree that anyone who did not go to the same college as us is wrong. Or that anyone who does not drive the same kind of car as us has no idea what they are doing.

We do things differently, because we have different desires, and different needs. Some families just function better if both parents work outside of the house, and there is a larger village helping to raise the kids. Some families just need more time together, and that means only one parent works outside of the home.

A family of 7 can be as happy as a family of 2. We’re all different.

But we’re all the same as well. We’re all trying to raise kids in a society that offers very little support for this endeavor. Many of us live some distance from our families. We probably don’t have as strong of a church support group as we had in the past. At least one parent probably does work outside of the home, and employers in the US tend to not be supportive of families.

We’re all in the same boat, and we need each other.

So the next time you feel the urge to participate in the so-called “Mommy Wars,” which are bred out of insecurity, stop and think. Those other moms are just like you, feeling guilty, and needing some support.

It’s time we looked out for each other.

2 thoughts on “Why the Mommy Wars are Stupid

  1. What a refreshing viewpoint – thank you for sharing it!!! I’ve gone from being a full-time-at-home mom to a co-breadwinner. And I’ve parented on both sides of some of other issues you raised, too. Somehow, through it all, our choices have worked well for our family as needs have changed, and we have a happy well-adjusted child. There really isn’t just one way to do it – and our families would all benefit when we moms support each other 🙂

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