The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

On Tuesday, I shared my top 5 favorite Christmas songs. Rob, who worked retail for years, is quick to point out that there are many more annoying Christmas songs. Indeed, narrowing the list to 5 was difficult. But here they are, my top 5 worst Christmas songs:

1. Christmas Shoes by Newsong. I’ll just start with the most vomit-inducing song. This glurge is about a little boy, who is clearly going through an unbelievably difficult time. And the narrator, who is obviously middle-class and caught up in Christmas shopping, is happily patting himself on the back for giving the boy some spare change to buy a pair of shoes for his mom to take with her to Heaven. Oh, and yes, God send that boy to show the man what Christmas is all about. That’s right. He caused a lower-class boy’s mother to die, so this middle-class man could be inspired. Give me a break.

2. Silver and Gold by Burt Ives. This is so obviously materialistic. Then they try to bring the Nativity into it, but really miss the mark.

3. The Chipmunks’ Christmas Song Don’t click the link. It will get stuck in your head. One year, in high school, they played this song between every class period, over the loud speaker. Much to my horror, I began playing it on my clarinet during warm-ups. Yikes…

4. Do They Know It’s Christmastime We really enjoy this song, actually. But I realized it’s because we think it’s hilarious. It’s got a good beat; it was recorded to benefit a good cause. But it’s so…misguided… “Do they know it’s Christmastime at all?” Probably not, because Africa’s population is mainly Muslim. And my favorite line in the whole song, “Tonight, thank God it’s them, instead of you!” Yeah.

5. Mannheim Steamroller’s Deck the Halls Annoying, annoying, annoying. Especially for retail workers. If you have friends or family who work retail, please spare them the agony of having to hear this song at home too…

2 thoughts on “The Worst Christmas Songs of All Time

  1. Hahahahahaha. I’ve always hated The Christmas Shoes. But now I can have a valid excuse when people ask me how I can hate such a “touching” song.

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