While it will take more than a couple off-handed comments (that didn’t even come from the candidates) to make up my mind about casting my vote in an election (and I’ll probably vote third party anyway), the whole Rosen-Romney thing has sparked some interesting discussions
It’s re-ignited the Mommy Wars, which, as you already know, I think are stupid.
I’ve seen more and more of my friends, who are what I call “professional mothers,” posting very defensively. As if they need to stand up and justify their decision not to earn a monetary income, while helping to raise their children. I’ve seen numerous figures, estimating what a stay-at-home mother is “worth.”
Ladies, I am speaking to you are a work-outside-the-home parent whose partner is a professional dad. All of it–the monetary figures, the defensiveness–is a bunch of bologna.
If you’ve got a good set-up, one that everyone in your family is happy with, you don’t need permission–not from political figures, not from the media–to do it. Look at our family: you won’t find a politician who talks about her professional dad husband. In popular culture, we get bombarded with the “Mr. Mom” and “Daddy Day Care” stereotypes. Trust me, if that were the reality, Rob would have gone back to work (outside the home) years ago! But we ignore the low-budget films (not too hard to do, seeing as how we don’t own a television) and a certain country music song (we listen to indie music anyway) and do what works for us. The further you get from pop culture, the easier it is to do.
And you know what? When you don’t act defensively about your choices, people don’t attack you for them. Defensiveness is a sign of insecurity, and it invites criticism.
If you’re a professional mother or father, or if you’re the breadwinner, if you both are breadwinners, if you’re a single parent, or if you co-parent…If it works for your family, if nothing else could possibly work so well for you…Then you don’t need permission to do it. The perfect set-up for your family can’t be given a monetary value–it’s priceless.