I came here seeking.
There is a disquiet, deep within, that has me searching for answers, for a greater understanding. It’s been a year of constant worry. My job is not as secure as it once was, and for the first time in ten years those “what-if”‘s have been cluttering my mind. Already, there is never enough money, and the thought of losing even that is horrifying. Beanie has made great progress, but will it be enough for kindergarten? Are we doing enough? Worry, worry, worry.
And it’s out here that I see the true futility of worrying. Yes, as prepared as we are, storms can still come up out of nowhere. Equipment can still fail. But if we spent all of our time worrying about that, we would miss the beauty around us. We would miss our reason for being here.
So it goes with life. We can’t control everything around us. In reality, there is very little that we can control. All we can do is be prepared for the adventures. I am confident that we will always find a way to return safely on Moonraker, no matter what we encounter. And I need to have in our ability to stay above the water during the rest of the year. Storms may come, but we will always find a way to weather them.
I’m not there yet, but we’re making baby steps…